Monday, August 19, 2013

So... when are you two going to have a baby?

So Ryan and I are at the age where many of our friends are either pregnant or already have babies. We are also at the point of our marriage where apparently it is expected that we start making a family by members of society.... and by members of society I mean family members, friends, co-workers, and RANDOMS.  The amount of times we have been asked when we will start making babies is absolutely incredible.  I don't know why or when questions relating to baby-making became a normal thing to ask, however it makes me terribly uncomfortable.

This past weekend, Ryan and I went to several different events.  Ryan had a bachelor party all weekend, plus we had several cookouts to attend.  People who are family friends or family members of friends asked us numerous times when we would have a baby or when we would give insert baby names here a friend.  Previously, our generic response was "when the time is right."  This weekend, I got so fed up with the question, I told these family friends to give me their number and I will FaceTime them every single time we try so that they are in the loop. I know, that is awful.  My parents, who were sitting with me, were mortified.  However, I have gotten to the point where I am so tired and sick of that question.

I feel like today, people just don't get it. What if Ryan and I have been trying for a whole and it just hasn't happened?  What if I cannot get pregnant due to my health issues? What if we decided to not have children?  What if we are currently trying? What if we were pregnant and have experienced a miscarriage? What if it is just none of your damn business?

Don't get me wrong.  Ryan and I love babies. We love love love playing with our friends' babies and we are SO happy for our friends. We know someday we want a baby. We know that when the time is right, we will have a baby.  We also know when the time is right we will tell people.... However, for the time being, we do not need the million questions of why and when.  We would appreciate if people just let us deal with that aspect of our relationship without the peanut gallery because whenever it does happen, we would like to be the one to share the news. We would like for it to be somewhat of a surprise.

Several of my closest friends (and his) know our "baby making" situation. These are people who I've felt comfortable discussing it with-- and lack family members not because I do not love them dearly, but because (as previously mentioned) I would like for it to be a surprise whenever it does happen.

I will let you know this... Ryan and I are extremely happy with our marriage and our time together right now.  We enjoy traveling, going to sporting events, going concerts, snuggling in bed with Rocco, and going out to eat frequently... and I personally enjoy a "Cape Codder" every now and again.   I have completed my M.Ed and he is currently working on/starting his MBA.  We have a busy life. We know whenever a baby comes along our life style will have to change drastically. We also know we have to be ready for those changes.

So, the lesson for today... stop asking people if they are having babies soon or when they plan on having babies. It is none of your business.... and when it is your business the couple will let you know.

Family Blog

Since I do a very poor job keeping my teacher page up but thoroughly miss writing, I decided to create a Ryan and Kelsey blog... a blog about our happenings. ;)  I can't promise it will be all that exciting, but I can promise you it will be us.